This space is under construction. I apologize for the current wonky layout, and coding I haven’t learned yet, but it is my messy space, so join it during the transition. It is messy, because once again I found myself here wanting to write about this beautiful insanity I get to love everyday.
I wake up every morning to the sweetest tiny voices sharing “good mornings” and “I love yous.” Most of the time someone brings me coffee. (Live your best life.) I have been thinking a lot about finding the joy, about finding the positive, and even about smiling when it hurts.
My twenty-something self would have laughed at this knowledge. What I have learned is that I am greatly affected by how I choose to live this day. My inner voice is extremely powerful. Sure, I could list all the hard things, but why? I could list the things that are currently rocking my world, and contribute to the exhaustion, and every time I stumble, but I am not going to make those lists anymore.
I have learned that I am deeply affected by how I decide to frame my day. For example, I can listen to sad podcasts, and go do hard work, and dread the mountain of chores waiting for me at home. Or… I can listen to Queen Bey, go be a rockstar, and choose ice cream for dinner, while I grab a cold brew on the way home to help me tackle second shift. I can choose happiness. I can choose the silver lining. I can choose to let some things go, and prioritize others. (And during this season I am leaning hard on ice cream for dinner.)
It was a rainy and cloudy memorial day, but the littlest needed out. So we went to the lake anyway. The sun decided to peak out, and give us a wonderful and warm afternoon. It was another reminder to get out of my own way, and just love and live this life.
A positive inner being matters, and I have spent a great deal reflecting on this recently. In the past ten years we bought and sold homes, earned degrees, welcomed new tiny humans, and loved our people as hard as we can… All while we work. We smile and we work, because that is one thing this team does well, we work.
Even when it isn’t, it is good. I have owned this home for four years today. It was where we laid to rest a lot of work, and realized a lot of dreams. So, naturally we will work more. I will listen to the most upbeat music on my way to the office tomorrow, and plan our dinner at the lake, and prepare to combat spending another week without daddy… and I will choose their joy… and deciding on the positives.