The Overwhelming Feelings of Healing 

It sounds ridiculous to shout from rooftops that my tiniest human sat for dinner tonight, and even ate food.  She actually hung out with us, when food was involved, and relished in giddy happiness that we were soo stupidly delighted she decided to join us. (Previously she was invited and always opted out.)

When I said goodnight today, she told me I didn’t even scream at her today…. (enter all the great guilt). I didn’t. This sweet tiny human had a great day, and so did I. (They correlate, shocking I know.) We are healing.

I wish I could accurately articulate what’s it like to not be able to function when your baby is sick. I didn’t pay a single bill over the past 6 weeks, and it wasn’t because we couldn’t pay them, but I didn’t even have the strength to “submit payment.” (FYI – when you actually get your shit together, just call them, and they are all super kind, and waive late fees. The world understands, sometimes.) I just couldn’t process life with a sick baby.

She’s healing. She’s thriving. #gf4lyfe let’s do that.

Occupational Therapy helps her navigate this world.

A long time ago we said Oo had “Disney” in her eyes. She saw blue birds when we saw rain. She was our Queen of The Fairies. (Oonagh in Gaelic means Queen of The Faires.) What breaks my mama heart is we lost this fairy to fucking Celiac, but we are getting her back. She’s growing stronger every gluten free day…. I’m so ready for this sweet fairy, and I’m so ready for her to feel “Disney” happiness again.

I wish I was talented enough to write about when you get your best tiny human back.  I wish I could articulate what it’s been like to love her… all of the moments that her pain left me feeling helpless… I wish I could hug every mother whose baby struggles… and say “I know.”

We are healing. We have gluten free bagles and muffins.

I’m a mama, and I have had so many bad days. And I saw my Disney baby today reclaim her love for life …… and it makes me weep.

She’s basically the most awesome. She loves her siblings and friends. She loves to climb, play, run, jump, skip, and swing. I need to make sure she always loves these things. Her Disney sparkle is an added bonus.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s