Necessary Late Nights

I crave the night time hours. The quiet and dark that settles my soul and provides the respite needed for the next day. I never choose sleep. I always choose stillness. 

Sometimes I write, and often I read every blog, every news article, every tweeted link… Sometimes I watch an excellent documentary, and often I watch epically garbage TV. Sometimes I snack, and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I chat with a friend, and often I don’t. 

In my teens I was always the last person off the couch in my family. In my twenties I always kept the party roaring until breakfast. Now, I throw logs on the fire and breath in the quiet. (I also hate mornings, and sleep the latest.) 

There is a famous story about my Granny who sat up late every night, and the mice would come out and join her. She declared that she would have to get along with the mice, because she wasn’t going to bed. She needed the quiet. #grannysquadgoals

I think, in 2017, I’m learning more about my own adulting needs. I’m (finally) becoming more thoughtful with my words, and with my choices. (Hey, I never followed the traditional path.) I think I’m figuring that if I don’t fill my own cup, I simply can’t fill others. And I’m learning how to fill my own cup. 

I need my late nights. I need the dark and the quiet to watch garbage TV and read Buzzfeed. 

I need this quiet to work super hard during the day. This week I have felt super “in it” with my work. It was reminiscent of my undergrad days… I woke up and started working before the coffee finished brewing. It is exciting, and it is soul filling. 

I read lots of stories, and used kind and thoughtful words with the most important tiny humans in my life. I spoke thoughtfully with my partner and avoided an argument. I painted my nails, and ordered cute tutus for a friend. I think to do these things, I need to choose stillness…

Maybe in my 40s I’ll choose sleep, maybe not. #findwhatfeelsgood

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