It’s like asthma. It’s a real and present danger at every turn. Run to fast in the cold, asthma kicks in. Your car gets hit, and anxiety hits.
We are safe. We are fine. Car seats and cars did their jobs. Everyone walked away. The adjuster asked today THREE TIMES, “was the rear facing infant okay?” And I lost my shit. Because a third party saw my car post accident, and thought, holy shit. They saw that baby seat, and thought holy shit. (Maxi Cosi Pris 70 did its job.) They saw that our accident was a real and present danger.
And world, maybe I’m struggling. Maybe I was afraid to turn around to look to see if they were all okay. Maybe I was afraid they weren’t. Because imagine that moment. Imagine that second when your whole world might not be okay. Imagine that sound. Imagine their crys. I hear them over and over again.
And world, we are going to be so good. All of the great technology kept my tiny humans safe. But I’m having a super hard time overcoming it. I’m having a super hard time.
And that super hard time is anexity. It’s as real as asthma. Things that are regular for people who don’t have anxiety aren’t the same for someone who suffers with anxiety. Our breath becomes quicker, and we don’t process as fast.
Trauma is real.
And world, we will be fine. These are first world problems. We will buy a new car, and we will buy new car seats. But it’s going to take me longer than you to feel okay.