I Know You Know All of These Feels

When your heart hurts you stay up late. When your soul is literally begging for a friend you listen to the saddest music, and you drink wine, and you hope that tomorrow you will be awesome. You plead with yourself to be awesome tomorrow.

And she smiled today as her favorite song played, and told me to pick the next one.

Because sometimes it’s all way to much. And I am certain we will persevere. Tonight, I will stay up to late, and drink too much wine, and listen to sad music, and tomorrow I will still be awesome.

When it’s messy and ugly, you can retreat. You can pull on your shell, and wait out the storm. You can cry silently. You can watch it dismantle in front of you. You can watch your own heart break.

And she will ask you to help her with these words, in this book. And you do.

Because sometimes being this person is so horrifically hard. And sometimes you are at war with these expectations. Tonight, I’m going to feel all of these feels. And switch the music to hip hop. To prepare for my awesomeness.

And she asked for triple braids tomorrow.

Because we will all survive watching our own hearts break. And Hill proclaims that “I will treat this life like my thesis, a well written topic broken down into pieces.” So bring it, life. It’s the hardest paper I have ever written.

And she thought I knew hieroglyphics, because I teach students how to solve problems.

Because when we finish watching our own hearts shatter, we will rebuild them. We will rewrite the thesis, again. There will be more sad songs to listen to, and there will be more words to learn.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s